This past weekend was like Christmas in July for me. Ever since I left last year’s She Speaks Conference I have counted down the days until it was time to go back. God changed my heart and my life and I could not wait to see what He had in store this time around.
It was all that I hoped it would be and more. Gone were the nerves and doubts of last year. In their place was a confidence that God had called me to speak and write. All weekend long I felt blessed. Blessed with meaningful friendships, amazing worship and intimate prayer.
The pinnacle of the weekend was my appointments with publishers and agents. I had spent 6 months working on a book proposal and more than ten years cultivating it in my heart. I was so nervous to finally put it out there for others to see. What if they didn’t like it? All of my fears were for nothing, though. My publisher appointments went better than I could have ever imagined and I am excited to see what God has up His sleeve next.
So why did it feel like something was wrong?
With everything going so well, I couldn’t figure out why I had this nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach. I just couldn’t seem to accept all the goodness that God was showering down on me.
I felt guilty.
Have you ever received a really expensive gift from someone and you felt guilty accepting it? Like you did not deserve it? That is exactly how I felt about everything that God was giving me.
As I walked back from another great meeting, I continued to wrestle with how I should feel about it all. It was then that God whispered to my heart, “It is okay to feel like my favorite – just as a little girl feels like her daddy’s favorite above all her other siblings.”
This realization hit me so hard that I literally took a step back. All of this time I have been writing a book that addresses the fatherhood of God and it was like I was experiencing His love for me as a father for the first time.
Each one of us should feel like the “favorite daughter,” because we are favored by God.
No, God does not have favorites, but I think that it is okay for us to feel like we are. Not because we are better than those around us, but because of His lavish love for us.
“How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!” 1 John 3:1
We are His cherished daughters. He gives us good gifts exactly when we need them and champions our cause. When He looks at us He sees His beautiful and perfect little girl.
As you go about the routine of your everyday life, will you join your sisters in the dance and bask in His great love for you – His favorite daughter?
Have you ever felt guilty accepting the gifts of God? Do you feel like His favorite little girl? I would love to hear your stories in the comments below.