Day 10: My Father’s Birthday

He would have been fifty-six years old today.  I cannot believe that it has been seventeen years since I last saw his charming smile, heard his deep voice or felt his arms embrace me.

My plan was to use this space to celebrate my father’s life, but I find myself at a loss for words.  I am reminded of what our pastor said at his funeral, “What good do you say about a man who chose his addictions over his family?”.  The wounds that he inflicted on my young heart still run deep.  I have come to realize, though, that he was a sick man who choose to seek comfort in drugs and alcohol instead of taking his pain to Yahweh Ropheka, the Lord Who Heals.

I view my father’s legacy as one of warning others what not to do with their lives.  Instead of running from God, run to Him.  Instead of abandoning your family, make them your first priority.  Instead of drowning your troubles in a bottle, take them to the only One who can truly take them away.

My father’s life may not have amounted to much, but God has allowed the story of his death to change the lives of people all over the world.

So today, I will celebrate, Abba, God the Father in heaven.

Abba who never leaves or forsakes us.

Abba who loves with an unconditional, everlasting love.

Abba who gives good gifts to His children.

Abba who turns all things to good for those who love Him.

Abba who held a little girl in the palm of His hand and protected her through the storm, who held her in His arms as she cried herself to sleep time and time again and who is continuing to make her broken heart whole again.

So many of us carry scars left by our earthly fathers.  It is my prayer, today, that you too will reach out to your Abba, Father and allow Him to comfort you in the way only a perfect father can.

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  • Stacy @ Heartprints of God

    While it may appear as though your father's life didn't amount to much, in actuality the gift He gave the world in you is making a huge difference. I can't help thinking that God is choosing to use this hurt, this heartache, this bondage of your father, to set other captives free. I commend you for choosing to find the positive in this and to use it to help others find their Abba Father.

    May God widen your sphere of influence. May He open doors of opportunity for you to share this story and bring healing and wholeness to those still caught up in this struggle.

    PS…thank you for stopping by my blog and leaving such sweet words behind~

  • janicejohnson

    Beautiful, Heather, and all the more powerful because of your honestly expressed hurt. Praise the Lord, HE does turn all things to good for us who love Him.

  • Jen

    Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us. Thank you for pouring in the lessons that you have learned through watching your dad into our own hearts. May we all run to the Father.

  • Pamela

    I'm thankful you had an Abba Father to run to. I love how you are taking a heartache and using it in ministry to others.